To a dearest friend of mine...

Today, is the set up day of my first official show in Chicago.

I did everything by myself, alone, in the wet, cold, snowy day, everything, from finding and carrying each piece of equipment, to designing, organizing, decorating the entire booth... I didn't mind it at all, and in fact, felt quite happy with the end result like the typical me...

Not until I came back home, something suddenly hit me. I remember how much fun it was when you're there with me during my first show in Paris... Oh, those darling memories... We laughed together a lot, got so excited when we found another new idea, or another piece of usable home furniture for the show... We were so proud of our work, together!... Had so much fun!!

I miss you, so much, terribly, suddenly...

I can't help crying, and bury my face in a big tissue ball... sobbing.

What does it mean to me even if I had all the accomplishment in the world , if they're not shared?! Christopher Johnson McCandless spent almost 2 years living in an extreme life in the wild trying to escape from something and search for something else. By the end of his young life, he wrote down one conclusion on his book "Happiness only exists when shared."

Too many times in life, I am torn apart by the emotional attachment to my place, to my friends etc and something else, an invisible force propelling me moving, keep moving, forward, regardless... I questioned myself million times: Why God put such stubbornness in a body of an incredibly sensitive woman like me??!... It's so painful! Too many times! Leave behind, only tears...

My dearest friend, did you ever expect those "little ordinary" things you did would make someone so moved that she remembered long after?... How would you feel if you know that it's ME who miss you SO much!... The moments we had shared somehow embedded deeply somewhere in me, only waiting for the right times and places to bloom...

Love kills.

Even if it's friendship, it's a kind with the most love, kindness, and gentleness inside!

Now, I'm crying... Wish so much you're here... with me, for my show, for our show! I know you will be very proud of me, and we will have so much fun again...